


Tomb of the Kings

by nblmtweek



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Egypt, M/M, Museums, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:34:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29131899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nblmtweek/pseuds/nblmtweek
Summary: Craig takes Tweek to a museum for Valentine's Day to see an exhibit on ancient Egypt, and Tweek has better ideas for what to do
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 12
Kudos: 36
Collections: feb 2021 - sp creek server does egyptian and/or smut, sp creek server valentines 2021





	Tomb of the Kings

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to fill three different prompts for the Creek server: 1) Valentine's Day, 2) Smut, 3) Egyptian

Tweek wasn’t all that big on museums, but when Craig said he got a couple’s discount on admission for Valentine’s Day, he couldn’t possibly say no. Tweek preferred the performing arts like music and theater, things that were ephemeral and in the moment. However, he appreciated that Craig had such a passion for history and stuff like this. And since they went to the opera on their last date on Tweek’s suggestion, it was only fair they did something Craig wanted to do this time.

“Come on Tweek, we’re almost to the best exhibit.” Craig grabbed Tweek by the hand and led him down a corridor.

“What, more paintings of sailboats at sunset? A sculpture made of toothpicks? A bunch of paint splattered on a canvas and called “art” for some reason?”

Craig shook his head. “It’s called ‘Tomb of the Kings: An Interactive Egyptian Experience’. It’s a whole exhibit full of artifacts and relics from Ancient Egypt. It’s only in town for a couple of days, so I figured now was the best time to catch it.”

Tweek smiled. “You’re not worried about some kind of long-concealed disease or an ancient pharaoh’s curse or anything like that?”

“Calm down, it’s not like the movies or whatever. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m not worried about me because I’m not touching any of this shit like you are. What kind of museum lets guests touch things anyways? Isn’t that a good way to break something culturally or historically important.”

Craig shushed Tweek. “As if any of this stuff is actually real. Most of it these days is carefully recreated replicas that way they can preserve the real thing somewhere safe. The real sarcophagi and burial urns and other cool shit is sitting in a glass box somewhere.”

“If you say so.”

Tweek and Craig continued looking at the exhibit. There was a recreation of a segment of the Nile complete with a boat, crocodiles, and a hippopotamus. One part depicted what building the pyramids might have looked like. A glass case displayed various pieces of gold jewelry and ornaments. However, the item that caught Tweek’s eye was a giant brass ankh sitting on a pedestal.

“Wow, a lot of attention to detail must have been put into this one, huh Craig?”

Craig looked at the artifact. “You know that the ankh was a symbol of life, right? Some even likened it to an emblem of fertility.”

Just hearing the word “fertility” got Tweek excited. He could feel himself getting a bit stiff below the belt.

Tweek winked at Craig. “I’m feeling the fertility, alright. If you know what I mean.”

Craig pinched the bridge of his nose. “We’re in a museum. Do you really think now’s the time for that?”

“Aww, come on Craig. It’s Valentine’s day. Surely you wouldn’t mind getting lucky tonight, would you?”

Craig took a deep breath. “Fine, we’ll make it quick. But I want to come back to this exhibit. We haven’t even seen the mummies yet.”

Luckily, the Egyptian exhibit was stationed next to the restrooms, the perfect venue for public debauchery. They decided their safest bet was the gender-neutral family restroom. They knocked on the door to make sure it was empty before locking the door behind them. If anybody needed to pee, they’d just have to wait or pick one of the other restrooms.

“Okay, Tweek. Unzip your fly. I’ll give you a quick handy and we can get back to looking at cool Egyptian shit.”

Tweek scoffed. “Really, Craig? A handjob in a public restroom? How original.” He rolled his eyes. “At the very least let me fuck you.”

“But we didn’t bring any lube or condoms or anything.”

Tweek reached into his pockets and fished out a condom and a travel-sized bottle of lube. “I was gonna save these for after dinner, but I think now’s as good a time as any.”

“Damn, you really came prepared for that?”

“For fuck’s sake Craig, it’s Valentine’s Day! Let me show you some love already.”

Craig blushed. “You’re so hot when you take the lead.”

The boys took off their pants, and Tweek leaned Craig over the sink. Tweek placed some lube on a couple of his fingers and went to work on loosening Craig up one finger at a time. When Craig indicated he was ready, Tweek placed the condom on and got it properly lubed up before inserting his length up Craig’s ass.

Craig slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle any noises he felt he was bound to make as Tweek slowly thrusted back and forth. As he made the motions, Tweek started kissing Craig’s neck. He knew that it was one of his big weaknesses. Craig clenched his cheeks a bit tighter as Tweek increased his speed.

“How does this compare to the exhibit, honey?”

All Craig could do was violently nod in agreement, letting out the occasional soft moan of ecstasy.

“Are you getting close? You look like you’re having a good time.”

“Just… just a little longer.” Craig looked like he couldn’t take much more.

“I’m getting pretty close, myself.” Tweek continued to thrust, letting out the occasional grunt of pleasure. “Oh god, almost there!”

As Tweek picked up the pace, Craig couldn’t hold back much longer. “Fuck!” he cried out, finishing just moments before Tweek came inside of him.

Tweek smirked as he grabbed some toilet paper. “Geez, Craig. Whine any louder and the whole museum will know.”

“What can I say,” said Craig, wiping the excess drippage. “You’re one twisted bastard, taking me in a bathroom like this. And that really gets me going.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like I fucked you in the aquarium or something. It’s just a bathroom. Now put on your pants before security comes and throws us out.”

“You mean you don’t wanna get kicked out? I thought you were starting to get bored.”

Tweek shrugged. “I dunno, I think after that I can handle a few more dusty pieces of art.”

“So does this mean I’m not getting fucked after dinner tonight?” Craig winked.

“Looks like somebody’s finally in the holiday spirit.”

After the two put their clothes back on, Craig pulled Tweek in for a kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, babe,” said Craig.

“I love you so fucking much. Now let’s go look at some more of those beetle things or whatever.”

“For the last time, they’re scarabs!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! For those of you interested in my other fics, I'm shooting to get another chapter of Sweet Surrender up sometime this week, so keep your eyes out for that


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